


Síndrome

by clandestine_xo, kunehonim



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crimes & Criminals, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-03-31 05:41:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13968564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clandestine_xo/pseuds/clandestine_xo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunehonim/pseuds/kunehonim
Summary: There are no monsters in the closet or under the bed. The most terrifying ones of all are the monsters in your head.





	Síndrome

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** 22  
>  **Prompt:** Police lieutenant Wu Yifan talked a man down from jumping off his apartment balcony. As time passed, he fell in love with the man, Zhang Yixing, no matter how his mental illnesses impacted either of them.  
>  **Author's note:** This is more Chinaline-centric than I initially intended. Oops.
> 
> Thank you to my collaborators, both artist and beta, for powering through this with me. I apologize for any inconsistencies that I just dumped on you. ^^;
> 
> Lastly, much love to the KFX mods and writers for making this fest a fun ride!

Given the nature of his work and the things he sees on a daily basis, there was very little that could faze him. His stoic features and uncanny ability to stay calm during the most stressful moments are what make him great at what he does. There was no level of sadness, anger, or guilt that could make him break. He was unshakeable. The keyword being _was_.

He received a call not even 5 minutes of being at home. The urgency of which prompting him to leave a poorly scrawled note for his boyfriend who was yet to arrive. There was a break in his case, one he’s been waiting to get for the past year and a half. And he’s loathe to let anyone else get first access.

What waits for him beyond the two-way mirror was something he never could have imagined, something his partner nor his entire department could ever fathom.

“Chief’s gonna pull us out of this,” someone mutters beside him.

“Do you know who they’re putting on the case?” he asks.

“Save for you, there’s only one other person they’d trust with the matter.”

“Huang Zitao,” he grumbles.

“I know you don’t exactly get along, but he’s the best chance we have at cracking this case once and for all. Hang in there.”

The other man leaves with an awkward pat on his back. What else can anyone say or do in this type of situation? No amount of training or experience could prepare him for this. He’s trying his damnedest to wrack his brain for missing puzzle pieces, but he’s coming up empty. All he can do is stare, clueless and helpless, at the man held in the small room.

“What have you gotten into, Zhang Yixing?

 

* * *

 

“Yifan.”

He snaps his head up as someone calls his name, the look on the man’s face saying he’s been doing so repeatedly.

“I’m sorry,” comes his automatic response. “Please have a seat,” he says, pointing to the opposite side of the booth.

It was a risk to ask Zitao, or Tao as he prefers to be called, to see him. They had agreed to meet at a diner as far away from their precinct without actually leaving the city, both hoping to set their objectives clear.

“Let’s make this quick,” the other says. “The longer I take before speaking to the suspect, the more questionable the investigation will be.”

“Please don’t call him that.”

“You need to accept that it’s what he is,” the man says flatly. Tao stares him down, eyes softening a fraction at the defeated hunch in Yifan’s shoulders. “I know we have this odd rivalry going on,” he sighs. “This is the job. But I hope you also know that we _are_ friends.”

Yifan finally meets his gaze, eyes hopeful for any olive branch the other can extend.

“Even I don’t believe that Yixing is capable of the crimes,” Tao confesses. “I promise you, I will get to the bottom of this. But if he’s guilty, or if he even has a semblance of responsibility, I will not hesitate to bring him to justice.”

“I understand,” Yifan replies somberly. “That’s all I can hope for.”

*****

Yifan watches helplessly as investigators search through the apartment he shares with Yixing. After several harrowing ordeals, he managed to convince the younger to move in together, offering a safe haven both of them desperately needed. It was the security and reassurance they built within each other that now proves to be a bane.

Tao had already briefed him, explaining how he was likely coming in for questioning to talk about everything he knows about Yixing. He had always been open about his relationship with the younger, most of his colleagues were even fond of him, often teasing Yifan that he wasn’t deserving of being his life partner.

No one bats an eyelash when they open the medicine cabinet, all of them painfully aware of what each bottle was for. He feels grateful when one of them points out how Yixing will need his medication, gesturing to Yifan for information on dosages.

“Someone needs to call the precinct to tell them that ASAP,” the officer continues. “Just in case.”

Yifan thinks there isn’t any need for it. Everyone knows the circumstances by which they met, the situations that forged their friendship, the hurdles that plague their relationship.

Yixing suffers from bipolar disorder, coming into their radar when a call came in that someone was about to jump off the 15th floor balcony of a decrepit building downtown. Yifan had been on patrol just two streets away. The couple from next door were kind enough to offer the policeman entry into their home, allowing him to attempt talking Yixing down from the rails.

He remembers the look in the younger man’s eyes as if it was only yesterday. The desperation still haunts Yifan, creating a deep-seated fear that Yixing will disappear one day and he won’t be there to save him again. It’s been a little over a year since the younger’s attempted suicide, but the ups and downs of his condition continue to serve as a stark reminder of morbid possibilities.

The crackle of a radio pulls him from his thoughts, warily eyeing the officer walking up to him with an unspoken apology. “Detective Huang is asking for you at the precinct, says it’s urgent. We’re done here anyway, so you can come in with us.”

Yifan grunts in response, but opts to take his own car, wanting to keep to himself.

Tao accosts him as soon as he passes the threshold, pushing him into an empty interview room. “Tell me everything you know about Yixing’s mental disorder. His diagnosis, medications, behaviors – leave no detail untouched.”

Any other day and Yifan would have scoffed at the prying, but he knew it was an ongoing investigation. Anything he says can make or break the case, even if he finds redundancy in why it bears repeating.

Yifan speaks of the suicide attempt two years back. He recalls neighbors talking about how Yixing is a nice kid who kept to himself, looking skittish but not enough to raise suspicion that something was terribly amiss. How he went from the sweet neighbor to the guy ready to jump off his balcony was a shock to everyone who knew him. Yifan continues with how his conversation with Yixing went, from the shakiness of words to the fear in his eyes.

_“Don’t jump.”_

_“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live with this knowledge and fear forever. I don’t want to keep looking over my shoulder every time.”_

“What about after you moved in together?” Tao interjects as he takes down notes of their dialogue. “Did you ever notice any shifts in his behavior?”

Yifan furrows his brows, not in confusion but recollection. He tries to sift through the memories of his relationship with Yixing, trying to find any inconsistencies that he’s sure Tao was referring to. He can only be so thankful that the other investigator tells him to take his time, knowing how sensitive the topic was.

The good days are when Yixing is as soft as can be. He’s either in their kitchen, experimenting with recipes in hopes to replicate their mothers’ cooking, or crowding into Yifan’s space, reveling in each other’s warmth. The bad days are when Yixing has trouble sleeping, dancing for hours on end to get rid of jitters that won’t leave him alone, leaving Yifan worried over his boyfriend’s old injuries causing more pain. The worst days are when Yixing forgets the most mundane things, acting as if he’s never met one person or the other, missing shifts at work, or not even remembering their dates. The hellacious ones, the times Yifan dreads the most, are days when Yixing radiates fear. The younger man just shuts down, calming only with his boyfriend’s presence and reassurance that he was safe. As much as Yifan wants to do more, it’s hard to fight against a monster he doesn’t know.

Tao hums, a thoughtful look crossing his face. “Is it possible that it’s a misdiagnosis?”

“What do you mean?”

“From what I do know and how he was during our interrogation, it looks more like Yixing has dissociative identity disorder, not bipolar disorder.”

“What?”

“I’ll get a forensic psychologist in,” Tao replies, getting up from his seat as a means of dismissal. “That’s all for now. Go home. Get some sleep.”

Yifan doesn’t, of course, choosing to follow the lead of Tao’s theory. He reads up on one article after another – medical journals, forensic studies, and known cases. The symptoms, if he can even call it that, were all too similar to how Yixing behaves. He later realizes that Tao is exploring DID angle on the possibility that some unknown personality takes over to commit the crimes the real Yixing has no knowledge of.

The idea is polarizing, giving him comfort that Yixing may still be innocent but also making him lose hope that he has no involvement at all.

 

* * *

 

“You look like someone just put you through the meat grinder.”

A fresh pot of coffee is set on his table, making Yifan look up, nodding his thanks.

“Mind if I keep you company?”

“I could use it,” he replies with a deep sigh. “Thanks, Lu Han.”

“Uh oh,” the restaurant owner starts. “That doesn’t sound good. Bad day at work? Are you coming down with something? Please tell me everything’s okay with Yixing, because I will personally kick your ass if you tell me you broke up. I don’t care if you’re bigger than me and carry a gun on most days. I’m good with knives.”

Lu Han can see the conflict on Yifan’s face. Though the detective was known for his poker face, he can be transparent when it comes to Yixing.

“I’m not breaking up with him,” Yifan whispers. “It’s bigger than that.”

“Is he in trouble?” Lu Han asks, a worried expression taking over his features. “Look, he’s one of my best friends. He’s been there for me as much as I’ve been there for him. If he’s in any sort of situation, I need to know.”

Yifan weighs his options. If there was anyone he can trust when it came to his boyfriend, it was Lu Han. The two had known each other for years, having been old college roommates, former co-workers, and Yixing being part of a support group that Lu Han helps facilitate. If anything, Yifan hopes that the elder can help give an alibi.

Without the most sordid details, he reveals that Yixing was arrested as a suspect in the serial murder case Yifan had been working on in the past year, going on to say how he was taken off of the investigation due to conflict of interest. He speaks of how helpless he feels at having limited access to information on how things are going, and how he wishes to speak to Yixing but knowing he’s not allowed to.

“Oh god.”

Yifan looks up to see Lu Han’s ashen expression, thinking how shaken the restaurant owner must be at his revelation.

“Since when?” Lu Han asks shakily.

“Two days ago,” Yifan replies.

A tense silence falls between them, neither knowing what else to say.

“Can’t you do anything?” comes Lu Han’s frantic question.

“Not without compromising the case,” Yifan answers. “Whether he’s involved or not, it’s not up to me anymore. I love him with everything I have, yes, but if he is responsible for all these murders, justice needs to be served.”

Lu Han’s eyes dart all over the place. “This can’t be happening,” he mutters. “I need to go.”

Yifan barely manages a grunt before the older man rushes out of sight, leaving behind more confusion on top of the distress he’s already carrying.

 

* * *

 

Tao flips through the report he has in his hands, a deep sigh leaving his lips at the words he wishes would magically disappear. Unfortunately, he has a job to do, one that transcends any personal desires. it’s with cold determination that he enters the interrogation room, unceremoniously dropping the file onto the desk before dropping down to his seat.

“Are you sure you don’t want a lawyer?”

“Tao, no, Detective Huang,” Yixing says, correcting himself. “I have nothing to hide. I didn’t do this.”

“The evidence says otherwise.”

“What?”

Tao wordlessly opens the folder, pulling out photo after photo to show Yixing. There were pictures of his work places – the dance studio where he taught beginners’ lessons, the twenty-four-hour restaurant he served as a line cook for, the gym where he used to be a receptionist at. All of which having been in close proximity to where a body of a stabbing victim was found. Next came photos of an old bomber jacket with a tear in its left sleeve and a pair of tattered shoes he used to wear to teach dance classes.

The detective starts telling a story based on the images, of how Yixing staked out his victims near where he worked, using his gentle charm to lure them in and later using his strength and agility to overpower them before stabbing them multiple times with knives he easily discarded.

“One of them fought back,” Tao continues. “Your jacket tore after you got shoved against a brick wall, leaving a piece behind. One gave you chase, tracking footprints here and there. We never were able to match them because it took us a while to determine how you fit into the story. You were a part-time worker with no definite schedule. You blended right in places where no one would ever think wrongly of you, not with that face you have.”

Tao watches as Yixing’s gaze travels from one photo to the other, shaking his head at each word the detective says.

“No, that’s not- it’s not what you think,” Yixing stammers, hands trembling as he pushes the pictures away. “I didn’t- I wasn’t supposed- Yifan! I need to see Yifan!”

“Calm down,” Tao says, making sure to keep his voice levelled to avoid the situation from escalating. He can’t let Yixing break down and have the investigation go to hell for inadvertently putting their suspect under duress, especially with the knowledge that he was suffering from a mental disorder.

Yixing is visibly trembling by now, leaving Tao with few options. He springs up from his seat and calls for Yifan, knowing the older detective kept close despite orders to steer clear until the investigation boils over.

Tao stays in the room along with another officer, both keeping a close eye on Yifan’s attempts to calm Yixing down. The younger’s eyes are glazed over, looking so far from reach, but the sound of his boyfriend’s voice seems to traverse even the deepest abyss, bringing a comfort Yixing can wrap himself in.

“Don’t let him find me, please,” he cries into Yifan’s chest.

The two investigators share a pointed look, both hyper aware that the one statement was out of place. Before Tao can even question what Yixing meant, another officer came rushing in, pulling the lead investigator out of the room.

“We found another body this morning,” he starts. “Coroner determined the time of death to be 11:30PM.”

“Last night?” Tao clarifies, eyes wide.

The officer solemnly nods, gaze traveling to the two-way mirror. “It’s not Yixing.”

Tao insists on seeing all the evidence before telling Yifan about the new development. He instructs the two officers to keep an eye on his fellow detective, telling them to pull Yifan out as soon as Yixing looks composed enough. “The investigation is still ongoing, remember that.”

*****

“This one fought hard,” Doctor Wen states the second he sees Tao walk into the morgue.

“Are we sure this is by the same guy?”

“Like I said, this one had a little more fight in him than the others. It’s caused a few deviations in the state of the crime scene.”

“Epithelials?” Tao asks, tone hopeful that they had more physical rather than circumstantial evidence to go on.

“That and hair samples. They’re already at the lab so results should be out soon,” the coroner smiles smugly as he inserts a pair of tweezers into a wound tract, pulling out a scrap of metal after. “And apparently, we also have a piece of the murder weapon.”

“Give it here,” Tao says, holding up an evidence bag. “I’ll take it up to the lab myself.”

Doctor Wen does as instructed, giving a sigh of relief as the investigator closes the seal, the coroner’s signature going right on the flap to ensure it’s integrity. “For what it’s worth,” he starts. “I’m glad it’s not Yixing.”

“Maybe,” Tao mutters, making Doctor Wen gasp in shock. “Don’t get me wrong. I know this clears him for this murder, but there are too many coincidences to just sweep under the rug. As much as I want to believe that Yixing is completely innocent, I need the evidence to tell me the same thing.”

It’s a few hours later that Tao rifles through another set of test results. DNA from the epithelials did not match Yixing, nor did it match anyone else in the database. Hair strands that were likely pulled from the perpetrator were a pale blond, not Yixing’s raven black. The piece of metal they found was also determined to be of expensive material, way above the tools that Yixing has access to at the fast food restaurant. Add that on top of the latest victim’s time of death and it finally looks like he's in the clear, but something was still setting off warning bells in Tao's head. The evidence he had prior still put Yixing at two crime scenes.

“Is it really just because he works nearby?” he mumbles to himself.

A knock on his door pulls Tao out of his reverie, with a lab tech coming in after. “I’m not sure what happened between the last two victims, but it seems your perp got sloppy,” she notes. “One of the establishments recently installed new security cameras. Guess who we caught on tape?”

 

* * *

 

“It is dissociative identity disorder, isn’t it?” Yifan says, though the tone of his voice wasn’t really that of a question. “When I stopped him from jumping, he kept telling me that he can’t live with knowledge and fear. Of what, I don’t know. I made a timeline of all the murders and tried to match it up. Every time a victim turned up, I’d see that same desperation in his eyes as I did that night he tried to commit suicide.”

Tao keeps silent, waiting for the older to finish, wanting to know what conclusion he comes to.

“It’s possible, right? For a personality to commit the crime and my Yixing to not know what he did. And he just pops up again when his guilty conscience gets too much.”

“It’s not him,” Tao interjects, voice resolved. “There’s a way in which Yixing’s connected to this case but not one we were fearing.”

Yifan gives the younger detective a look of confusion, a million questions running through his already tired mind.

“Come with me.”

The two investigators make their way across the bullpen, stopping in the middle of two interrogation rooms. One of which still held Yixing. The other, to Yifan’s shock, holds Lu Han.

They look on as Detective Xu takes over the interrogation of their new suspect, listening on as he puts together the story of how the murders took place. Lu Han gets progressively agitated at each piece of evidence that the detective lays out for him, but remains quiet nonetheless.

“Another body was found earlier this morning,” Tao explains. “Time of death was 11:30PM. Yixing was already in custody for over twenty-four hours, making it impossible for him to be the perpetrator. One of the nearby shops had new security cameras installed. Lu Han was caught on film within the time frame.”

Paired with the evidence Detective Xu had in his hands – the blond hair, the broken tip of an expensive knife, the clothes Lu Han was wearing the night of the latest murder – Yifan comes to the conclusion that Yixing’s best friend was the murderer they’ve been looking for.

“We’re still waiting on DNA results and matching the murder weapon. We already collected knives from Lu Han’s restaurant and apartment,” Tao adds. “But I have no doubt in my mind that he’s the psychopath we’ve been hunting down.”

Yifan turns his gaze to the other room, brows furrowed in concentration as he stares at Yixing’s slumped form.

“He said to not let him be found,” Tao says softly. “It’s a theory, but what if Yixing was present at two of the murders as a witness? His old jacket and shoes still put him there. Except it wasn’t your Yixing.”

“That’s why he’s always afraid,” Yifan says as realization dawns on him. “One of his personalities recognizes who the perp is, and he’s scared that he’s next.”

“Lu Han may also be aware of his condition,” Tao continues. “It’s possible that he’s kept close to Yixing all this time to either put a constant fear to prevent him from reporting the murders, or to have an alibi ready. But Yixing’s absence from his last shift at the gym may have thrown a wrench into his plans, causing him to commit a mistake in choosing his last victim. There was no time for him to carefully pick his next kill. He didn’t have an excuse to be there for long if Yixing wasn’t around.”

“It’s all circumstantial for Yixing. Would it be enough?”

“I don’t think we’ll be getting a confession from Lu Han,” Tao says with a heavy sigh. “Evidence still puts Yixing at two crime scenes. Even if we are right about the theory that he has a personality who witnessed the murders, we have no control about when he’ll show up. It’ll be up to a trial for us to get Yixing completely free of this.”

Silence falls between the two investigators, both mulling over the predicament they find themselves in.

“This won’t end,” Lu Han says confidently, his voice projecting an ominous tone through the intercom.

Tao and Yifan snap their gazes back to Lu Han, chills running down their spines at the malicious expression taking over his usually angelic face.

“I won’t let it be the last.”

 

* * *

 

It takes the better part of a week but Yixing is finally home, complete with recommendations from the forensic psychologist that he undergo more tests regarding his disorder. Yifan knows they have a long road ahead of them, but just like before, he’s more than willing to stay by his boyfriend’s side throughout whatever obstacle they may face. He realizes it starts tonight.

Yixing is quiet, even more so than usual. Yifan knows being held in custody and finding out about Lu Han’s arrest is sure to do a number on his mental state. The fear of a trigger prevents him from prying, leaving the investigator to quietly hope that his boyfriend will be able to broach the subject on his own will.

“How about I run you a hot bath? Sound good?” Yifan asks tentatively.

Yixing nods, wordlessly walking into the en suite bathroom and propping himself against the sink. Yifan follows just as silently, noting the faraway look in Yixing’s eyes as he turns the knobs to fill the tub.

“I’ll go prepare your clothes,” Yifan whispers. “Take as long as you need.”

The younger man soaks for nearly an hour, leaving the tea Yifan prepared to go cold. Yixing excuses himself to bed as soon as he’s dressed, leaving Yifan alone to his thoughts. He doesn’t want to dwell on the tension, at least not yet. Just as they’ve done for their relationship thus far, he thinks of taking things one step at a time. He’ll accompany Yixing to see doctors, comfort him through the night terrors, be there for the trial. Yifan can only hope his love is enough to carry Yixing through.

By the time he settles into their bed, Yixing is already in a deep sleep, his face clear of any worries, making him look completely innocent and at peace. Yifan gently tugs at his prone form, sighing in contentment as his boyfriend subconsciously burrows into his side. Like this, with the heat seeping into their skin, Yifan wishes the quiet will last.

It doesn’t.

Yifan awakens slowly, hands blindly reaching out only to grasp at cold sheets. His eyes struggle to adjust to the darkness, jolting when he makes out Yixing standing over him beside the bed, a vacant look in his eyes and a knife clutched in his hand.

“You shouldn’t have found out. I’m sorry.”

No one hears Yifan scream that night.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Artist's note:** I'm sorry they're so chubby... if only to soften the blow of the story  >.< Created comic frames based on certain scenes in the fic.
> 
> \- [What Have You Done?](http://i64.tinypic.com/zlyuy1.png)  
> \- [His Case Now](http://i67.tinypic.com/r7w12s.jpg)  
> \- [When You Say Jump](http://i65.tinypic.com/2j0zej8.jpg)  
> \- [The Good](http://i66.tinypic.com/2yltg91.png), [The Bad](http://i66.tinypic.com/2nsvrmc.png), [The Awful](http://i65.tinypic.com/ofvq0m.png)  
> \- [Bigger Than Us](http://i63.tinypic.com/fcv52u.jpg)  
> \- [Skills](http://i65.tinypic.com/214z6kh.jpg)  
> \- [This Won't End](http://i67.tinypic.com/2qmdthe.jpg)  
> \- [Not Supposed to Know](http://i64.tinypic.com/4sku9d.jpg)


End file.
